Saturday, December 31, 2011

An introduction of some sort

Ok, so everyone has new years resolutions. We all want to exercise more, eat healthier, learn new things, and on and on. We say that we are going to follow through with them, too. "This year will be different." "I really am going to do it this time." However, by the time April or May rolls around (or sometimes even much before that), these resolutions get lost with the rest of our motivation to change.
This year, I personally have many things that I want to do.  But hey, let's be realistic. Many of them are just not going to happen.  However, there is one thing in my life that MUST change.  It's called Social Anxiety Disorder, and it has been present in my life for as long as I can remember.  I've tried all kinds of therapy, treatments, and medications to try to help me live a better life, but none of them seem to have had much of an effect.  From Cognitive Behavioral therapy, to psycotherapy, to Exposure Response Prevention, to Residential treatment for three months, and even to things like art therapy and yoga... nothing has seemed to even touch the surface of this life-altering disorder. 
It's now time to get serious.  With the help of my amazing parents (love you mom and dad!) I have decided that I am going to change my life for the better by going to something called an Intensive Outpatient Program for my SAD.  We are currently looking at programs in either Los Angeles or Sacramento.  So far, the Sacramento program looks the most promising.
This is a huge reality check for me.  I know that if I don't get my SAD under much better control, that I am soon going to have an extremely poor quality of life.  I want to have friends. I want to have fun.  I want to be able to go out and socialize. But most of all, I want to be free from fear.